Living Social Escapes (aka another Groupon Getaways) just offered this great “escape” to a questionable motel, hotel, holiday inn type place in Brandford, CT citing Yale as the main attraction. 65 of these excellent deals were purchased. We expect that 63 were purchased by Asians.

http://www.livingsocial.com/escapes/206350-new-haven-hotel

Our favorite quote from the article speaks for itself:

“Don’t think of this Escape as a cheat sheet––think of it as a study buddy guaranteed to make sure your next getaway graduates summa cum laude.”

• Intergalactic Studies
• Motel Management
• Theoretical Rodents
• Political Correctness
• Hydroponics
• Functional Alcoholism
• Football
• Musicals
• Communication (It’s no more ambiguous than Humanities.)
• Juggalo Studies
• Taylor Swift Studies
• Consulting
• Chinese Language & Accents
• Money Juggling
• Applied Farmville
• Acronym Studies

Now that we think of it, some of them might be better as minors (that’s what she said?).  But you get the point.

Do you think that you’re better than the best white rappers on the streets, Eminem and Vanilla Ice?

I’d like to think it’s more like Vanilla Ice
But… you golf…Have you at least ever been shot? All the good rappers have been shot….

I’ve played golf since I was three. I got recruited from the damn golf team. I wish I had a struggle story. I wish I could say I got shot 18 times—-but I shoot 18 holes. I used to write rap lyrics walking down the fairway on the back of a scorecard in the middle of a tournament.

What made you decide to start rapping?

I never decided, it fell into my lap. It wasn’t like, “Yo, I wanna be Eminem or yo I wanna be Mac Miller, gotta get tattoos all over my body—that’d be great and all, but it was simpler than that. Bradley and I started in high school senior year. I had a shitty mic in my closet and we messed around just for fun. We’d get these horrible instrumental quality tracks from the internet and I dunno, we just started.

How did you get started?

We wrote all the songs out before, rehearsed them, and then went to a professional studio in Orlando. It’s a very time consuming process, but if you love doing it, it doesn’t matter.

So the other half of High Def is back in Florida. Is having a long distance relationship hard?

It’s really tough, no homo, but yea, I miss Brad! We text and talk a lot, sometimes Skype. Half of what we talk about is music and coordinating what we can do with it: “Yo you hear that new Drizzy? That Mac Miller shit? Chyeeeaaa boi!” You know.

Do you feel a battle of passions between golf and rap?

No! They’re totally independent of each other. I play golf and that’s a huge part of who I am, but so is rapping. In fact I have a song for the golf team, you can check it out on Youtube.

…We’ll do that….

Do you suffer from #whiteboyproblems?

A lot of people think we’re some rich, white kids that pay the blogs to talk positively about us and that’s not true. We don’t pay the blogs shit to do anything. We send them the songs and they do what they want with it. Besides, what does being white and so called rich have to do with anything? Bottom line: Let’s smoke and listen to my tracks

HEAR HEAR!

Tell us about your new album, “It’ll be Okay”

Yea we’re proud of the album. It’s named after the title track, “It’ll Be Okay,” for which we have a music video. We recorded nine tracks over the summer. The majority of the songs are party tracks, but some tracks try to take it deeper and really express ourselves. We’ve definitely grown from our first album musically and lyrically, so go get that shit! It’s on iTunes!

So now that you’re finally famous on campus, when’s the tour?

We’re not famous yet! (laughs) But that’s the bitch about being separated—we can’t do shows. But we are gonna try and do Battle of the Bands and open for Spring Fling.

What do you want to say to all the haters?

Listen, we love what we do. Yea I play golf, yea we’re white, but that’s not important. It’s all about the music at the end of the day! Obviously you can be whatever race and rap—I think I’ll be better at rap than Tiger Woods will ever be at golf because I put my heart and soul into it. And leave the hoes alone.

Well said Mr. Weinand. There it is folks, much to our chagrin, High Definition is not a duo of wannabes rocking argyle and khakis stuffed up their ass cracks (although Carson does wear it at practice– “I got that good argyle from grandma. I owe her a track…”). They may be new on the scene, but their tracks are hot, so buy their shit so they take Itunes’ top spot!

They’re latest album It’ll Be Okay is available on iTunes and shiyat

Indeed, even the late Steve Jobs—may he rest in peace in the iCloud forever—stole ideas from other companies (Xerox did desktop icons first, Stevie!). However, that’s the thing about genius—genius doesn’t care whether or not it’s your idea. Genius is entitled to whatever genius wants, and you goddamn proles better realize that and stop bitching.

The latest bit of genius at Yale centers about Twitter, like so many of today’s visionary “innovations”. Enter @Yalefruitreport, the newest Yale-themed account to grace the interwebz. Run by two pioneers—known only as “Eli” and “Nathalie”—they’ve taken the existing “Twatter” format and tweaked it into something at once intimately recognizable yet unfamiliar: they’ve set up an Internet platform to let Yale students in on where the best fruits are in all of the dining halls.

Let that sink in for a moment. You’ll never again have to wonder whether Saybrook dining hall has good kiwis (they don’t, and never will) or if Trumbull has non-shitty tangerines (it’s more than possible): they do all of the legwork—and most of the digestion—for you! They put their stomachs on the line for us, the students. Day in and day out, “Eli” and “Nathalie” are on the front lines of the battle for palatable fruit, working without pay or thanks, true fruit ninjas fighting the good fight.

If that’s not bravery (seriously though, have you ever seen an edible apple from Commons in November?), we here at Rumpus (@YaleRumpus, for you assholes who aren’t following us yet) don’t know what is. We’re with you, “Eli” and “Nathalie”! Never doubt the nobility of your crusade.

Oh, and everybody follow them on Twitter. After all, how else are you supposed to get the latest dish on fruit?

This Freudian slip of YD”N” copyediting spotted by former Rumpus editor Kai Thaler ’09.

We know about some fairies among at Yale, we know that some are hidden (1 in 4, definitely more…) but to think that there may be real fairies- ones with wings and glitter that don’t come off in the shower, wow. Just wow.

We have found the man who can help us find these nature spirits. And we implored him to teach us more, only to be rejected. So nature spirits please help us find you by helping us find a way to have this man help us find you. find you.

This is how he rejected us the first time:

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Dear Messenger Valentine.

I recently became very interested in the Nature Spirits.  I currently attend Yale University, where unfortunately there are many disbelievers in the reality of these Magical Beings.  To spread the Good Word and Truth of The Matter, I would like very much to interview you for a campus publication and contingent upon the positive reception of the article possibly come to speak here as well.

Let me know if you might be interested in helping me spread The Word.

Thank you,
Melanie

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