Aly Moore for UOFC Chair
It’s hard to be shunned by a lover. And Rumpus was devastatingly heartbroken when Bobby Dresser didn’t want our endorsement for UOFC Chair. When we contacted our “Most Beautiful Friend” (50 Most 2012) with sweet nothings, he responded with a cold, “Do I want to be endorsed by Rumpus? Juuust kidding (sort of).” It’s okay Bobby. It would only hurt if we actually thought you were the right candidate for the job!
After meeting Aly Moore, there is no question that she is the most competent and sexy candidate for UOFC Chair. After serving on UOFC for two years, she knows what works and will work. That and have you seen that girl in a pair of Daisy Dukes? DAYUM!
As UOFC Chair, she intends to increase transparency of the organization, facilitating contact between the administration and student groups. She would also make it easier for student groups to receive funding (and hopefully throw some dolla dolla billz in Rumpus’s direction). Furthermore, she is easily the candidate best-positioned to lead the in the UOFC’s primary initiative for next year: a conversion to the UOC (Undergraduate Organizations Committee). She helped write the proposal, which will increase the responsibility the UOFC has and make it a more independent body from the YCC.
And how could we forget her photo campaign—Literally a bunch of friends (@Secretary candidates: learn from this chick) doing pelvic thrusts to the slogan “Let’s do Moore.” Rumpus wouldn’t think to endorse any other candidate for UOFC Chair. We’d totally do Moore and you should too.
Joey Yagoda for Treasurer
Because Joey believes that YCC should use its power to have the Harkness bells play “Call Me Maybe.” Joey has also proved his dedication to YCC by never having missed a YCC Foam Party regardless of the fact that attending Foam is a surefire way to pick up a slew of diseases in one night. And because Joey thinks that he should handle our money “cause I can make it rain”. If Rumpus hasn’t convinced you to vote for Joey yet, then we’ll point out that Joey was highly involved in two successful YCC efforts: Gender Neutral housing and sophomore seminars, has been involved in FCC, the Calhoun College Council and has already served as a YCC representative. While we love Nathan Kohrman and would like nothing better than Money in the BaNK, we have already vowed to be loyal to the entire Yagoda family #loveyoumaria
Kyle Tramonte for YCC Secretary
The decision about who to support for YCC Secretary was a tricky one: both candidates are freshmen with none-too-impressive photo campaigns (how are we supposed to know who to endorse if we don’t know exactly how well-connected you are?! Come on now, freshmen). But in the end, we chose the candidate most after our own heart: current FCC secretary and sweet southerner, Kyle Tramonte. Rumpus loves two things above all others: partying and beauty. The decorations in our 50 most nominee shrine underground drinking lair make this completely obvious. So Kyle is the perfect candidate for us. He is running his campaign by making himself as visible as possible on campus, trying to socialize as much as possible, while still remaining a functional student. Read: parties a ton while keeping his shit completely together and spearheading a kick-ass campaign. Rumpus can’t even do the first two on a regular basis so we have tons of respect for Kyle as he has somehow managed to do all three. And just look at that perfectly done coif in his campaign picture: that shit takes practice and it’s nothing short of gorgeous. We love a good hairdo.
The two candidates in this election have very similar platforms: they both want to increase access to a list of events happening on campus, through a newsletter and changes to the YaleMobile app. They both advocate dining plan reforms to varying degrees and have pledged to work on these as members of YCC. Additionally, Tramonte has expressed an interest in reforming tailgating – an issue Rumpus takes very seriously. That is why, differences in experience aside, Rumpus trusts Tramonte. He’s accessible, genuine, and would make a great YCC Secretary.
Daryl Hok for Vice President
Why Daryl Hok?
In addition to being all-around hilarious, Rumpus is punny. In fact, one of our jokes from our last issue almost made it into a book of children’s puns compiled by Rosie O’Donnell — http://i2.listal.com/image/2249823/200full.jpg. Daryl Hok’s campaign centers itself on the pun “Hok the Vote.” We approve. So does Rosie.
Why not Debby Abramov (ES ’14)?
While Debby seems dependable enough, we can’t think of any fun puns for her name at this time.
Bryan Epps for Events Director
After sufficiently stalking Bryan on Facebook and seeing how many party photos he has with many different kinds of people from Swedes to people rocking various pinnies, we have no doubt that Bryan Epps is the right man for the Events Director position. His experience working with YCC this year has also established the connections that will make all of Yale feel like they’re getting VIP access to the party. Also, have you seen Bryan Epps rocking those tight-ass red pants?? Now that is a kid we KNOW does it better.
Quinn Zhang for YCC Tsar: (But of course, keep reading…)
After reading the platforms on Quinn Zhang’s (MC’14) website (http://quinnzhang.com/ ), Rumpus instantly fell in love with his ideas: Building a love hotel above Toad’s? Mandating A’s (for everyone but STEM majors)? And best of all, ending the stream of people knocking on our doors convinced that we actually wanted to listen to their platforms when we really just wanted their cookies/candy? Quinn Zhang has our vote, despite the fact that he is reportedly a philosophy section asshole.
Truth be told, none of the presidential candidates had the entire package this year. So seeing as how most of us don’t have the energy to write in stand out candidate Quinn Zhang’s name on the ballot, who you should vote for depends on what you’re looking for:
Hotness: Cristo Liautaud (DC ’14). This is the guy we would want as the poster boy of Yale. We have no idea how we missed him for 50 Most this year, but thank God someone peeled him out of a Lacoste perfume ad and put him on this campus. Cristo has a lot of ideas, but in terms of novelty and vast improvement, we’re not sure he outshines either of the other two. His platform includes continuation (Trash to Treasure, Mental Health), development of tech on campus, and ooh, Homecoming! We love the Homecoming idea and the continuation of huge events. At one point we really wished he ran for Events Director because we definitely would have backed his shmexy ass. But we’re not really sure if we need even one dining hall open until 9pm, the other two also have tech aspirations in their platform, and we’re scared that the inevitable stress that comes with being president may reduce his hotness. Long story short, there’s definitely more to this kid than being an SAE bro, we love him, and we’d definitely tap his ass—but maybe not for YCC President this year.
Likability: Hands down, Eric Eliasson (BK ’14). Eric is the kid that you want to take home to your mum and say, “See, I told you I could find someone normal to love me!” This former 50 Moster/former FCC chair/YCC Berkeley rep has ideas that include Yale Photo ID Change, Campus-Wide Events Calendar (echoed by other two candidates), and most importantly, GETTING TAILGAITING BACK SO WE CAN GET OUR DRANK ON! God, we love Eric Eliasson, and he definitely think he has the YCC experience under his belt that would serve YCC well.
Conviction: Much to Rumpus’ surprise, John Gonzalez (ES ’14) convinced us that he is the most ready to be YCC president next year. Although we didn’t really like his campaign video, during his interview he didn’t make eye contact half of the time, and sometimes he just looks straight up out of it, this kid still knows how to get shiyat done. As SoCo president this past year, he demonstrated an ability to organize events and effectively lead/communicate with a council. Although he does have several platforms that are encompassed in the other two’s, there were a few standouts that if he’s elected would actually be pretty refreshing to see: Pushing back the Credit/D/Fail deadline, putting more outlets in Commons, paying Student Coders to do the tech shiyat YCC has been relying on one person to do (#loveussomedanstein).
Really, these three candidates have pretty similar platforms, Eliasson and Gonzalez have more YCC experience, and Cristo is the hottest (and actually has demonstrated leadership ability outside of YCC). However, for those of you that actually care about YCC’s ability to facilitate improvements to student life, Gonzalez has a slight edge over the other two as a presidential candidate. He has proven that he can effectively lead a council, he definitely seems ready to take on an even bigger feat, and if he hires an anti-awk coach, we could see him fairing pretty well as BLevin’s successor.
But again, nobody really impressed Rumpus more than Quinn Zhang and his outstanding idea to get rid of this entire process altogether. See y’all next year at the Love Hotel!