CampusAdvice.net is a recent start-up at Yale that allows students to post and answer questions about Yale life. As a reliable source of information on campus, Rumpus figured it would offer its sound knowledge base to undergrads.
007, we’re here for you.
Author’s Note: The following list is a direct transcription of a handwritten, laminated index card that we keep in our breast pocket every time we go out.
Tune your Quinnipiadar:
Whether you’re looking to get predatory or hoping not to become prey, identifying QPac students is an important skill for a successful night at Toad’s Place. Here are some physical and emotional traits to look out for:
- Gets overly excited when “We R Who We R” by Ke$ha plays.
- Mentions the QPac vs Yale rivalry as if that was a thing.
- Is a member of the Lollipop Guild.
- While mingling in the line outside Toad’s you find out her two favorite books are “L.A. Candy” by Lauren Conrad and “Decision Points” by George W. Bush.
- He’s wearing a QPac t-shirt.
- Glitter…in unexpected places.
- Clothing…in none of the expected places.
Deciding Whether to Go Home with a Qpacker:
When making this decision consider the Golden Ratio.
Golden Ratio = (-1)*(Likelihood of running for future public office) − (How much your mom loves you) + (Number of people who currently respect you that are observing). When Golden Ratio > (chances you have with actual Yale students), do it.
**Be careful about calculating this while inebriated. May have unwanted consequences.
Extra Handy Tip:
There is a guy named Kyle who is 41 and sometimes chills in the back left corner at Saturday Toad’s. Avoid Kyle.
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