Hauntings from the Ghosts of the People You've Ghosted
Rumpus has been privy to recent knowledge that Yale Security has been receiving multiple reports of paranormal activity on campus. For the past few weeks, you may have been witnessing the sudden appearances of specters resembling people vaguely remembered from unanswered DMs, dimly lit nights in Woads, and brief, awkward eye contact in dining halls. The ghosts of the people you’ve ghosted in days, weeks, and semesters past are re-emerging from the depths of Yalies’ psyches to wreak havoc on the social conveniences of never having to address the regretted rendezvous that define your college experience.
While the Yale Corporation may be keeping these reports under wraps, Rumpus is here to look out for you: the messy student who could be spooked by the sight of that special someone that just didn’t quite deserve a text back the next morning. To ensure safety on campus, we suggest that you avoid the prime sites of haunting (and hookups) including the Sterling Stacks and especially the Grove Street Cemetery. I mean, it states clearly on the entrance: THE DEAD SHALL BE RAISED, so whether they’re actually dead or just dead to you, tread lightly. The left on read are back to leave you for dead!